Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Mental Health Challenges For Women At Perimenopause & Menopause
I just finished reading “Women Have Been Mislead About Menopause” in the New York Times. As a licensed psychotherapist with a private practice in New York City, this is one of the best articles that I have read about menopause in a very long time. Because as a psychotherapist, I see women who are menopausal, or soon to be, suffering from impactful mental health symptoms related to these hormonal changes. Of course women have other life events that may coexist with any hormonal changes, and that’s why it’s important to let a professional help you sort things out, and this can inform your counseling and wellness plan. Because, when your hormones are all over the place, unbalanced or deficient, it also makes it harder to cope with the usual demands of life. I have had my own personal experience with hormonal changes and failing ovaries, and my own ongoing journey has opened my eyes and informed my psychotherapy practice.
Did I learn about mental health and hormones in graduate school? Absolutely not. And this means that patients seeking counseling help are likely not receiving education and comprehensive care from their psychiatrists, psychologists and other mental health professionals who should be knowledgable about the impact of hormonal changes and mental health.
According to the article, about 85 percent of women experience menopausal symptoms. Rebecca Thurston, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh who studies menopause, believes that, in general, “menopausal women have been underserved — an oversight that she considers one of the great blind spots of medicine. It suggests that we have a high cultural tolerance for women’s suffering,” Thurston says. “It’s not regarded as important. Women’s symptoms are often minimized or dismissed; they are told it’s “just a natural part of aging” and they will have to learn to “deal with it.”
DBT Mind Shift: You Are Not Your Feelings
Are you someone who gives your emotions and physical sensations too much power? It's quite habitual for many to get swept up in the tide of strong feelings and emotions. Sometimes the tide rolls in without warning—fast and fierce—leaving you feeling distressed and emotionally dysregulated. The fierce and familiar nature of these emotional storms are a familiar response for you, and also confusing. Confusing because it feels like it’s happening in the here and now, and it may be to some extent, but it may also have roots in the there and then or long ago. That’s how triggers work, and that’s how one can get swept away.
Emotions can feel strong, and even overwhelm, but remember, you are NOT your emotions. To increase your self-esteem and sense of agency, notice when powerful feelings arise within you. Notice this experience and be curious about what may have triggered this in you. You can even direct your attention to your body. What do you notice? Where do you feel it? Is it okay to just notice and stay with the feeling and emotion a little longer without responding? You might typically say "I can’t do this, I'm completely overwhelmed." Try a reframe by saying "I feel completely overwhelmed." How does this simple shift help?
By understanding that "overwhelm" is a feeling, and that you can pause, tolerate, ride it out and ultimately survive, your life will improve. The tide does not need to take you down or cause destruction, you can learn the ride the wave. This technique is DBT speak for learning to “ride the wave.” Feelings are temporary states; they are transitory in nature. Feelings pass. Learn more about this important DBT distress tolerance skill surfing here. The psychological impact of this strategic shift can change your life.
Finding Balance With DBT’s Wise Mind
Wise Mind is a highly-effective core skill used Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). According to DBT, we have three states of mind: reasonable mind, emotion mind, and wise mind. Wise mind is thought of as the balance or integration of the reasonable and the emotion mind. Reasonable mind is the rational part of you, just-the-facts, thinking state of mind where you are ruled by logic. When you find yourself governed by emotion mind, your emotions are in control. You tend to be led by strong feelings and desires. Both states have their value and provide important information, but it’s easy to become stuck in one state of mind, being either cut-off from emotions or controlled by emotions. That is where wise mind becomes an important ally in your goal to have a more balanced life and state of mind.
In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the goal is to have wise mind available to you in situations where you are pulled to an extreme state or polarization. Wise mind is the integration or intersection of the reasonable mind and the emotion mind. Put another way, wise mind is your intuition or inner wisdom. It’s the state where you are wisely able to balance between the cool detachment of reason, and the wild current of emotion mind. Incorporating this wise mind DBT practice allows you to find balance between inaction and the active state of doing. Practicing wise mind allows you to engage in your life with awareness, with the goal of mindful presence.
Virtual EMDR Therapy: A Modern Option For Lasting Healing
If traditional talk therapy has left you feeling discouraged with your healing progress, EMDR might be the solution that finally leads to symptom reduction. Many psychotherapists who are skilled with EMDR therapy are successfully working with their patients online using virtual EMDR. Many of us discovered that we could begin or continue EMDR Therapy virtually during the pandemic.
As a specialist in trauma therapy and an advanced level II EMDR practitioner in New York City, I have been helping patients heal and address challenges through online EMDR therapy. Many feel better after just a handful of sessions and will say “why didn’t my therapist tell me about this sooner?” Not everyone is trained in EMDR, but those who practice this modality know just how effective EMDR therapy is. EMDR is most commonly known to resolve PTSD and trauma. It’s also very effective for getting to the root cause of anxiety, depression, chronic sadness, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders, fears, phobias, grief, performance enhancement, and so much more.
EMDR therapy uses a process called Bilateral Stimulation to facilitate healing. Virtual EMDR therapists help patients process trauma using self-administered BLS by tapping on the knees, butterfly hug tapping or online software that stimulates rapid eye movement such as remotEMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) focuses on reducing the impact that episodic distress, anxiety, fear, depression, phobias, triggers, negative emotions and traumatic memories have on your life.
The Healing Power Of Relational Psychotherapy
We are all born with unique attributes and qualities. If we are fortunate enough to have optimal circumstances and nurturance along the way, we develop into secure adults. Adults with secure attachment and relational capacity are able to have meaningful experiences and relationships. They feel safe in the world and with others. Secure individuals are free to thrive.
As it turns out, most of us have had more adversity than is helpful. While some adversity makes us strong (we develop skill and resilience), too much adversity threatens to overwhelm us. It interferes with growth, because we are unable to feel safe, explore the world and develop adaptive coping strategies. Reduced capacity to cope naturally leads to anxiety, depression, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and other troubling symptoms. When symptoms and poor coping takes over, our ability to establish healthy relationships, maintain those relationships and function well in the world is diminished. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to make an important connection to begin the healing process. The therapeutic relationship is one way to begin to heal.
Mental health seems to be experiencing a time of less stigma and greater awareness. People seem to feel safe sharing their mental health struggles on social media. The pandemic certainly led to an increase in loneliness, isolation, anxiety and terror, which led many to seek therapy and counseling, sometimes for the first time. This exploration to find a therapist also led to a great deal of confusion. With so many potential therapists and different therapeutic orientations, the big question becomes, “what’s the right type of therapy for me?”
Many want a quick fix as they enter therapy. Of course, short-term models that offer skill building and concrete interventions have their place. The problem with this strategy is that it rarely moves the needle when it comes to true healing.
Coaching vs Psychotherapy: What’s Important To Know
You have areas of your life where you struggle, but you’re not sure about next steps. Whether you are searching to resolve difficulties for yourself or your relationships, you have options. If you do a quick search for a therapist or coach, you will find quite literally, thousands. Searching for a therapist or coach in New York City can be quite overwhelming. Coaches have many specialities, such as: executive coaching, health coaching and relationship coaching, as just a few examples. Additionally, the field of mental health offers many professional titles that can be equally confusing, such as psychotherapist, psychologist, psychoanalyst, counselor, as examples.
When searching for your guide, you may have noticed that many therapists also provide coaching. Some therapists have received coaching training, while others have not. This is an acceptable practice because coaching is an unregulated field. There is no board exam that must be passed in order to hang a shingle as a life coach. Licensed psychotherapists, counselors and psychologists, who have not been trained to coach, can offer coaching services. The challenge is: many who struggle with mental health issues are often drawn to coaching because it is a non-pathologizing path towards freeing yourself. Which means that coaches can find themselves doing therapy, and regularly cross that line with people who happen to be vulnerable. This is problematic, because coaches who are not licensed in a mental health field should not attempt to provide mental health services. They simply are not trained should problems arise, and they do.
How do you know which is the right fit for you? If you have a history of mental health concerns or trauma(s) that have impacted your functioning, you are better served working with a licensed therapist. They are in the best position to help you heal the root cause of your struggles. If you are a higher-functioning individual, personally and professionally, coaching can give you the help you need. Coaching sessions are highly-focused and designed to offer solutions to quickly help you get your life back on track.
Psychotherapist, Psychoanalyst, Psychologist, Psychiatrist: What’s The Difference?
As a Manhattan-based licensed psychotherapist in private practice, I get this question a lot. What do all these acronyms after last names actually mean? And what do you need to find the very best NYC therapist for you and your healing goals? You are struggling right now and need to find high-quality mental health care in New York City, but it’s all so confusing. Your search for the right therapist can be intimidating and downright overwhelming. Should you work with a private therapist or should you sort through the group practices to find the best therapist for you? All those acronyms; all those modalities—getting started with therapy should be easier!
I’m sharing with you a trend that I’ve noticed, that you may not be aware of. Many group therapy practices charge standard psychotherapy fees and even high fees, and place you with a therapist trainee. This practice should be disclosed to you so you are fully informed about your care. When you are assigned to a therapist, you have a right to ask about their training and experience.
All therapists in training (in my field that’s an LMSW, until they reach LCSW designation) will undergo nearly 3 years of supervision or about 3000 mandatory practice hours. If you’re assigned to an LMSW, you’re working with a therapist who is being supervised as they work towards their hours. After a therapist in training has met this requirement, they are autonomous and can then work in private practice without supervision. If you work with a therapist undergoing supervision, your therapist or counselor will need to discuss your case at weekly meetings with their licensed, supervising therapist.
Amino Acid Therapy To Heal Your Brain & Improve Your Anxiety, Depression, ADHD & More.
Some common reasons people reach out for therapy and counseling is to address their new or longstanding mental health challenges. Symptoms such as anxiety, depression, addiction, insomnia and lack of motivation are often so debilitating that they are unable to live the life they desire. In my experience, psychiatric medications are essential for many, and truly life saving. But for those who have not had success with traditional psychiatry, it’s worth considering the highly-effective natural solutions that are rarely offered in conventional medicine.
Many mental health symptoms are all indications that levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, GABA, and the catecholamines dopamine and norepinephrine (there are more) are low. This is otherwise known as neurotransmitter dysfunction or imbalance. There are four main neurotransmitters involved with mood and behavior, and they are: serotonin, GABA, endorphins and the catecholamines (dopamine/Norepinephrine). The main focus with Amino Acid Therapy in clinical practice is on the serotonin-catecholamine system. Low levels of each of these, lead to a very specific pattern of mental health symptoms. It’s important to know that there are many reasons why brains become depleted and imbalanced, such as, trauma, chronic stress, chronic pain, loss, poor nutrition, addiction, hormonal changes and genetic predisposition, and thankfully, there are effective and powerful ways to restore brain health.
Our bodies need amino acids to work properly, and they are crucial to metabolic function. Some amino acids are made by the body, and others come from your diet. Typically, when you consume a protein, your body breaks it down and what's left is the amino acid. Amino acids are precursors to neurotransmitters, and when these vital messengers are deficient or imbalanced, information is not relayed optimally in the brain, and symptoms arise. Amino acid therapy aims to heal and restore the brain to optimal functioning by supplementing what’s missing based on history, symptoms, behaviors and response to trial treatment.
Therapy And Support For Deeply-Feeling People
For as long as you can remember, others have labeled you as “too shy” or “too sensitive.” It sure doesn’t feel good to hear this, but it does describe your reality on the daily. Thinking about it, you’ve always felt alone, or very different. You may be more reactive than most to the moods of others, criticism can feel especially hostile, external stimuli and energy drains you. These are just a few examples of what it’s like as a Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP), also known as deep-feelers, neurodivergent individuals and Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Navigating a noisy, demanding world as a highly-sensitive person can be disabling for many especially as you attempt to accommodate and manage the accompanying anxiety and depression. But remember, sensitive folks have great gifts. They tend to experience high levels of perceptivity and intuition, empathy and super-attunement, and even high levels of creativity. Sometimes, your exquisite sensitivity feels like a gift; it can also feel like a curse. Please know that you are not alone and you do not need to suffer in silence.
On Well-Being
Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.
This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In
Mental Health Recovery Is Not Linear
Mental health recovery and trauma recovery is not a linear process, and thinking that it should be only creates more shame and defeat. As you walk the path of healing, It’s important to remember that…
the grief process is not linear
mental health recovery is not linear
addiction recovery is not linear
healing a broken heart is not linear
trauma processing is not linear
learning to set healthy boundaries is not linear
self-growth in therapy and counseling is not linear
Be kind to YOU and offer yourself compassion and grace every time you stumble or fall. This is how you heal.
EMDR Therapy For Deeper Healing
Whether you’re researching EMDR because you find yourself unable to fly or visit the dentist, or you have suffered a traumatic event, EMDR can help you heal and move forward with your life. I am a trauma-trained specialist which means that I utilize this powerful method of healing whenever possible. I’ve trained in many modalities, and stray occasionally, but I always return to EMDR, because it is powerfully effective and transformative for my patients. EMDR is a cutting-edge, evidence-based trauma treatment that can free you from emotional and relational patterns of suffering. The effects of trauma, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, addictions, suicidal thoughts and dysfunctional relationships can be impactful and debilitating. Most who have attempted to resolve trauma through therapy would agree that traditional talk therapy is not always helpful. As an integrative psychotherapist in New York City, I offer an integrative approach using EMDR while blending other forms of highly-effective therapies into sessions. In addition to EMDR, I often utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Somatic Experiencing (SE) to help unearth the root cause of anxiety, depression, addictions and trauma-related symptoms. I’ve had success using this integrative approach with my patients.
Imagery For Mind-Body-Spirit Health
Guided Meditation is a resource for relaxation and a type of focused meditation to help create calm and ease in the mind and body. With this technique for relaxation, you concentrate on an image, place, object, sound, or experience that feels soothing or grounding, offering refuge from your daily stressors, settling your nervous system. The goal is to promote a calm state in the mind and body through relaxation and mindfulness. Your nervous system should begin to follow your thoughts and reset. You may have noticed that if you think about stressful events, you experience tension in your body, your mind may race and heart rate and blood pressure follow. If you train yourself to take moments in your day to focus your awareness on something pleasant, your mind and body will relax. You may notice less tension in your body and a sense of ease. Having a practice such as guided imagery can help you better handle your daily stressors and develop a sense of vitality and resilience.
Stress Less, Live Better
Stress is present for all of us, especially when we live and work in busy cities like Manhattan and attempt to manage the demands of work-life balance. Chronic, unrelenting stress can affect one's physical and mental health—we have the science to prove this. Stress also regularly shows up in the body as pain and other symptoms, in addition to accelerated aging. Unmanaged stress can lead to insomnia and memory problems, increase one's risk of heart disease, have an impact on diabetes and arthritis, contribute to the development of eczema and autoimmune disorders, and even lead to reduced resistance and immune system depression.
Changing habits and negative thoughts can be a challenge for most of us, but with stress management support, it is possible to eliminate the old and adopt healthier, health-sustaining habits. Those who have a difficult time coping with stress on their own often turn to unhealthy ways of coping such as food, substances and behavioral addictions, which then leads to what seems to be a never-ending cycle of shame, leading to more unhealthy ways coping.
Essential Oils For A Balanced Life
For nearly two decades, I have received the benefits of essential oils in my health and well-being and at home. I continue learning and refining my understanding of these healing plants and their chemistry, and how they powerfully assist healing and balance. Essential oils can be used for a range of physical and emotional wellness applications, either single oils or complex blends all have an impact at the cellular level. Many integrative therapists and wellness practitioners artfully add aromatherapy to enhance their yoga, ayurvedic or Reiki practice. Essential oils are usually administered by one of three methods: diffused aromatically, applied topically, or taken internally as dietary supplements. I love these oils and use them daily in my life and to enhance my personal yoga practice.
About Therapy For Phobias
As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, I treat people who struggle with phobias. Phobias are a common form of psychological disorder and distress. Generally defined as irrational fears about objects or situations, people tend to see their phobias as unreasonable, but feel incapable of giving up the fear or confronting the situation head on. Not all phobias are severe enough to impact the quality of one's life, but some are. There are many ways to treat a phobia, and some treatment methods are much more effective than others. Most people have certain things or situations that create discomfort, but are still able to carry on with the daily activities of life. Individuals with phobias or a specific phobia have intense, irrational fears, and will experience great distress that disrupts their life, avoiding the object or situation altogether. Phobias can be categorized into three types: Simple, or situational, social phobias and agoraphobia.
Coping With Relationship Heartbreak
Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being triggered. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future. As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, struggling after a break up is a common reason people seek counseling and therapy.
Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams.
Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.
Starting over can be scary. It is normal to wonder if you will ever find love or another partner again as well as other future uncertainties. Many feel that staying with what they know, even if it's an unhappy partnership, is better than being alone. It's important to remind yourself, that it is possible to move on to find happiness either alone or with someone else. Healing takes time and recovery requires patience and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Calm Discussions, Cool Heads
Couples or those working with others in partnerships or other kinds of relationship dyads often need skills and tips on how to enter a discussion, and the best strategies for keeping it calm, and ultimately successful. Beginning an important discussion can be fraught with conflict, apprehension and fear. What follows are some simple tips to keep the conversation constructive. While the goal might be to make a point, have your point taken seriously, right a wrong or solve a problem, many conversations devolve into screaming matches. What follows are some simple communication pointers to keep important discussions from spiraling out of control.
Essential Oil Therapy As Medicine
Essential oil therapy can be used for a range of physical and emotional wellness applications, either single oils or complex blends all have an impact at the cellular level. Many integrative therapists, EMDR therapists, somatic psychotherapists and wellness practitioners artfully add essential oil therapy to enhance their trauma release sessions, yoga therapy and Reiki practices.
Essential oils are usually administered by one of three methods: diffused aromatically, applied topically, or taken internally as dietary supplements. I love these oils and use them daily in my life and to enhance my personal yoga practice. When choosing oils, it’s important to work with a company that offers pure therapeutic grade and optimally-sourced Oils.
How do we get oils quickly into the system? Through the olfactory nerve, to the pineal, pituitary, amygdala. When you breathe an oil into the system, and through the nasal cavity, it is first picked up by the neurons in the olfactory system, between the eyes at the top of the sinus cavity. Those oil molecules are carried within milliseconds into the center of the brain. Research has shown that the inhalation of Essential Oils into the mid-brain system will cause a secretion of antibodies, as well as endorphins and neurotransmitters. This process directly impacts the immune system in positive ways.
Engage Your Vagus Nerve To Experience Enhanced Relaxation And Restorative Sleep
Concerns about the long-term impact of chronic stress, depression, anxiety and sleep deprivation is a topic of concern for many of my coaching and therapy clients. A few stressful, sleepless nights can easily spiral into a regular problem as clients begin to develop a negative relationship with bedtime and sleep. In the field of medicine and psychology we call this psychophysiologic insomnia or learned insomnia. Many will seek the help of a psychiatrist to obtain prescription medications in an effort to break the cycle. Not a bad option in the short-term, but less than ideal as a long-term solution.
Most mental health professionals who work with insomnia will always recommend lifestyle modifications and attempts at simple changes in the environment first. Before we move to information about engaging your vagus nerve and the relaxation response, let's clear the path to create an optimal environment for sleep.