Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
Forget Trying to Love Yourself—Start Practicing Self-Compassion: A Pathway Through Anxiety, Depression, Trauma & Difficult Life Transitions
We hear it everywhere: “You just have to love yourself.” It sounds lovely, even wise, but for many people, especially those navigating anxiety, depression, or trauma, that advice can land like salt on a wound. For a multitude of complex reasons, it’s just too difficult. When you’ve spent years battling your own mind, when shame or perfectionism has become your inner soundtrack, or when trauma has taught you that safety is conditional, loving yourself can feel impossible. And forcing it often only deepens the divide. What if we replaced the goal of self-love with something gentler, something that doesn’t require us to feel warm and fuzzy toward ourselves every moment? What if, instead, we focused on self-compassion—a practice that begins exactly where you are, no matter how unlovable you feel?
Why Self-Compassion Matters for Healing
From a psychological and neurological standpoint, self-compassion is not just a soft, sentimental idea—it’s a radical rewiring of the brain’s threat and safety systems.
When you respond to your own suffering with understanding rather than criticism, the brain’s amygdala (its alarm center) begins to quiet. Over time, this lowers cortisol levels, stabilizes mood, and increases emotional resilience.
For those living with anxiety, depression, trauma, and other difficult life circumstances, self-compassion acts as a stabilizing anchor. It helps regulate the nervous system, softens chronic self-attack, and interrupts the cycle of avoidance and shame that often keeps us stuck.
Mental Health Recovery Is Not Linear
Mental health recovery and trauma recovery is not a linear process, and thinking that it should be only creates more shame and defeat. As you walk the path of healing, It’s important to remember that…
the grief process is not linear
mental health recovery is not linear
addiction recovery is not linear
healing a broken heart is not linear
trauma processing is not linear
learning to set healthy boundaries is not linear
self-growth in therapy and counseling is not linear
Be kind to YOU and offer yourself compassion and grace every time you stumble or fall. This is how you heal.