Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
Reclaiming Your Identity After Emotional Manipulation
Ethan is 42, a creative director at a Manhattan agency. He came to therapy describing himself as “burned out,” though what he really felt was hollow. His relationship, once passionate and all-consuming, had become a constant emotional negotiation. He found himself apologizing for things he didn’t remember doing, second-guessing his tone, his memory, even his reality. His partner alternated between affection and criticism—lavishing him with warmth when he met her expectations, withdrawing or accusing him of being selfish when he asserted a boundary. Over time, Ethan learned to anticipate her moods, smoothing over conflict before it began. He stopped bringing up concerns for fear of escalation. He thought if he just worked harder—was kinder, more patient, more available—it would bring back the person he fell in love with. When he finally reached out for therapy, he said, “I feel like I’ve been erased. I don’t even know what’s true anymore. How did I let this happen to me?”
In my New York City private psychotherapy practice, I see this pattern often—high-functioning, insightful clients who begin to doubt their own reality after months or years of emotional manipulation or gaslighting. Many come to therapy confused, anxious, and self-critical, wondering how they “lost themselves” in a relationship that once felt so connected.
After leaving a relationship shaped by manipulation, control, or narcissistic abuse, the silence can feel deafening.
For months—or sometimes years—you may have been told who you were, what to think, how to feel, or what was “real.”
Now that it’s over, you’re left staring at a mirror that feels blurred, wondering: Who am I, without their voice echoing in my head? This is the work of reclamation. And though it’s tender, confusing, and often nonlinear, it’s also where real healing begins.