you may not realize that Shame is keeping you from enjoying the life you deserve. you can Heal the weight of shame with mindful self-compassion practices.

Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan offers highly effective shame therapy in New York City and throughout New York State via teletherapy, specializing in the treatment of toxic shame, chronic self-criticism, and shame-based defenses using evidence-based and integrative approaches, including EMDR Therapy, Relational Psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Shame is not who you are—it is something you learned. And what has been learned can be gently unlearned.

Find the Best New York Therapist to Help You Work with Shame

Finding the right therapist to build shame resilience in New York City means working with someone who understands how deeply shame can shape thoughts, emotions, identity, and behavior—often outside of conscious awareness.

The best NYC shame therapist will help you:

• Identify shame triggers and shame-based thought patterns

• Understand the origins of toxic or internalized shame

• Develop self-compassion and self-acceptance

• Reduce chronic self-criticism and harsh inner dialogue

• Build emotional resilience and nervous system safety

• Create healthier relational patterns

Effective shame therapy often integrates EMDR therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, CBT, IFS, somatic therapy, and compassion-focused interventions, tailored to your unique history and goals.

In a high-pressure, fast-paced city like NYC, feeling deeply understood, supported, and emotionally safe often matters more than credentials alone. With the right therapeutic fit, therapy becomes a space to transform shame into self-awareness, reclaim your inherent worth, and live more authentically.

Helpful Information About Shame

Many people do not realize that shame sits at the core of much of their emotional suffering.

Shame is a complex emotional response that typically forms in early development. It often presents as a pervasive sense of being “bad,” “defective,” or “not enough.” Unlike guilt (which relates to behavior), shame attaches to identity—creating the belief that you are the problem.

Unresolved shame can become global, influencing:

• Self-esteem and self-worth

• Relationships and intimacy

• Productivity and creativity

• Career confidence

• Emotional expression

Shame is commonly linked to:

• Anxiety and social anxiety

• Depression

• Perfectionism

• Substance use and addiction

• Anger and rage

• Acting-out or self-destructive behaviors

• Body image distress and eating disorders

• Sexual difficulties

• Codependency

Many clients enter therapy unaware that shame is the underlying force behind longstanding struggles.

How Shame Develops

Toxic shame often grows out of experiences such as:

• Childhood emotional neglect

• Childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

• Relational trauma

• Verbal or psychological abuse

• Narcissistic abuse

• Bullying or chronic rejection

• Inconsistent or conditional caregiving

When a child repeatedly experiences invalidation or lack of emotional safety, they often conclude:
“There is something wrong with me.”

This belief can persist into adulthood, even when circumstances change.

What It Can Feel Like to Live with Shame

• Feeling small, defective, or invisible

• Lack of agency or control in your life

• Believing your needs do not matter

• Difficulty expressing your true self

• Hiding emotions or keeping feelings inside

• Isolation and withdrawal

• Freezing or shutting down in relationships

• Perfectionism and fear of failure

• Easily taken advantage of

• Chronic defensiveness or reactivity

• Feeling unlovable, unwanted, or rejected

• Poor eye contact or collapsed posture

At their core, individuals struggling with shame often feel unworthy of love or belonging.

How Toxic Shame Impacts Relationships

• Difficulty forming and sustaining close bonds

• Fear of vulnerability and intimacy

• Staying in abusive or unhealthy relationships

• Repeated relational patterns of abandonment or rejection

• Acting abusively toward others as a defense

• Chronic people-pleasing or withdrawal

• Inability to trust others

Shame-based defenses are attempts to protect against pain—but they often create more suffering.

Common Shame-Based Coping Strategies

Many people attempt to escape or numb shame through:

• Substance use or misuse

• Addictive or compulsive behaviors

• Restrictive eating or binge eating

• Self-harm behaviors

• Perfectionism and overachievement

• Self-sabotage

• Overworking

• Codependency

• Difficulty setting boundaries

Research indicates that toxic internalized shame is strongly associated with suicidal ideation, making professional support especially important.

How Shame Therapy Helps

Shame does not heal through willpower or positive thinking alone. Healing occurs through safe relational experience, nervous system regulation, and trauma processing.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand where your shame originated

• Separate your identity from past experiences

• Process painful memories that shaped self-beliefs

• Develop a compassionate inner voice

• Build tolerance for vulnerability

• Experience yourself as worthy and acceptable

• Create healthier relationships

Specialized Shame Therapy in NYC

I use an integrative, trauma-informed approach that may include:

• EMDR Therapy – to reprocess shame-linked memories

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – to heal wounded parts

• Somatic Experiencing – to regulate the nervous system

• Relational Psychotherapy – to repair attachment wounds

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – to challenge shame-based thinking

• Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Practices

Each treatment plan is individualized and paced with care.

Shame Resilience Therapy Using Mindful Self-Compassion – Frequently Asked Questions

What is shame resilience therapy?

Shame resilience therapy is a form of psychotherapy that helps individuals recognize, understand, and respond to shame with greater awareness and emotional safety. Rather than trying to eliminate shame, therapy supports developing resilience—the ability to meet shame without collapsing, self-attacking, or disconnecting.

What is shame, and how does it affect mental health?

Shame is the painful belief that something is wrong with who we are, not just what we’ve done. It can lead to self-criticism, withdrawal, people-pleasing, perfectionism, anxiety, depression, and difficulty with intimacy or self-trust. Shame often operates quietly and automatically, beneath conscious awareness.

How is shame different from guilt?

Guilt is related to behavior (“I did something wrong”), while shame is related to identity (“I am something wrong”). Shame tends to be more corrosive and persistent, particularly when it developed in relational or developmental contexts. Therapy helps untangle these experiences and reduce shame’s impact.

What is mindful self-compassion?

Mindful self-compassion is an evidence-informed approach that combines mindfulness, self-kindness, and a sense of shared humanity. It teaches practical skills for responding to suffering with care and understanding rather than judgment or avoidance.

Is self-compassion the same as self-esteem or positive thinking?

No. Self-compassion is not about inflating self-esteem or forcing positivity. It is about responding to difficulty with honesty, care, and emotional steadiness—especially when things are hard or when shame is activated.

How does mindful self-compassion help with shame?

Mindful self-compassion helps interrupt shame-based inner dialogue and reduces the nervous system’s threat response. Over time, it supports greater emotional regulation, self-trust, and resilience, allowing shame to soften rather than dominate internal experience.

Is shame resilience therapy appropriate if I’m very self-critical?

Yes. In fact, many people who are highly self-critical benefit deeply from this work. Therapy is paced carefully, recognizing that self-compassion can initially feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable for those who learned to motivate themselves through pressure or self-judgment.

Is shame connected to trauma or early experiences?

Often, yes. Shame frequently develops in early relational environments where emotional needs were unmet, conditional, or misunderstood. Therapy helps address these roots gently, without blame, while supporting present-day resilience.

How does an integrative approach support shame resilience?

An integrative approach addresses shame cognitively, emotionally, and somatically. Therapy may include trauma-informed psychotherapy, mindful self-compassion practices, EMDR-informed work when appropriate, and nervous system regulation to support lasting change.

Can EMDR be combined with shame resilience work?

Yes. EMDR may be helpful when shame is tied to unresolved experiences or deeply held negative beliefs about self-worth. It is used selectively and integrated thoughtfully with self-compassion practices to support safety and readiness.

Is telehealth effective for shame resilience therapy?

Yes. Telehealth therapy can be especially effective for shame-based work. Being in one’s own environment often increases emotional safety and reduces the vulnerability that shame can activate.

Do you offer shame resilience therapy for New York clients via telehealth?

Yes. Shame resilience therapy using mindful self-compassion is offered to individuals located in New York through secure telehealth sessions, in accordance with state licensure requirements.

Who typically seeks shame resilience therapy?

I often work with thoughtful, high-functioning adults who struggle internally with self-criticism, people-pleasing, imposter feelings, or a sense of not being “enough,” despite external competence or success.

How long does shame resilience therapy take?

There is no fixed timeline. Some clients notice meaningful shifts within a few months, while others choose longer-term therapy to address deeper relational and emotional patterns. Therapy is paced collaboratively.

When might additional or different support be recommended?

If shame is accompanied by severe depression, trauma symptoms, or safety concerns, additional support may be recommended. Ethical practice includes careful assessment and appropriate referrals when needed.

How do I get started with shame resilience therapy?

You can begin by requesting an initial consultation. This allows us to explore your experiences, discuss goals, and determine whether this approach is the right fit in a supportive, non-judgmental way.

About Shame Therapy NYC

This practice provides individualized psychotherapy for shame, low self-esteem, trauma, anxiety, depression, and relational difficulties throughout NYC and New York State.

Therapy begins with a comprehensive consultation where you gain clarity about your struggles and next steps. Many clients feel relief simply from being deeply understood. Together, we determine the most supportive modalities to help you heal and move forward.

If you are searching for:

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I invite you to reach out to schedule a consultation and begin your path toward self-acceptance, emotional freedom, and wholeness.