Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
Forget Trying to Love Yourself—Start Practicing Self-Compassion: A Pathway Through Anxiety, Depression, Trauma & Difficult Life Transitions
We hear it everywhere: “You just have to love yourself.” It sounds lovely, even wise, but for many people, especially those navigating anxiety, depression, or trauma, that advice can land like salt on a wound. For a multitude of complex reasons, it’s just too difficult. When you’ve spent years battling your own mind, when shame or perfectionism has become your inner soundtrack, or when trauma has taught you that safety is conditional, loving yourself can feel impossible. And forcing it often only deepens the divide. What if we replaced the goal of self-love with something gentler, something that doesn’t require us to feel warm and fuzzy toward ourselves every moment? What if, instead, we focused on self-compassion—a practice that begins exactly where you are, no matter how unlovable you feel?
Why Self-Compassion Matters for Healing
From a psychological and neurological standpoint, self-compassion is not just a soft, sentimental idea—it’s a radical rewiring of the brain’s threat and safety systems.
When you respond to your own suffering with understanding rather than criticism, the brain’s amygdala (its alarm center) begins to quiet. Over time, this lowers cortisol levels, stabilizes mood, and increases emotional resilience.
For those living with anxiety, depression, trauma, and other difficult life circumstances, self-compassion acts as a stabilizing anchor. It helps regulate the nervous system, softens chronic self-attack, and interrupts the cycle of avoidance and shame that often keeps us stuck.
Healing Traumatic Stress & Loss With Self-Care
Whether you're struggling to manage challenging life events, a trauma or accident, loss and grief or any kind of transition that causes you distress or destabilization, it's helpful to understand that your feelings, emotions and behaviors are a normal reaction to extreme and/or disturbing events. As a NYC psychotherapist who uses EMDR therapy, supportive work and a focus on helping clients develop healthier coping skills, I'm happy to share tips to support you as you move through difficult times, and in time, find healing and recovery.
What Helps?