Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
When Therapy Doesn’t Work: Why It Happens and What to Do Next
For New Yorkers, therapy can be a powerful resource—but it doesn’t always work the way we hope. Sometimes, despite the best intentions on both sides, the therapy process breaks down. Maybe it’s you. Maybe it’s them. Maybe it’s just not the right fit. But one thing is clear: therapy that doesn’t work leaves both the therapist and the client disappointed.
In many traditional psychotherapy training programs—including those rooted in psychodynamic or psychoanalytic theory—when therapy fails, the burden is often placed squarely on the client: resistance, lack of motivation, poor insight. But in truth, therapy is a two-way street. It’s a complex and relational process. And when it stalls, both therapist and client deserve the space to reflect—not blame.
When Therapy Fails: A More Nuanced Understanding
At Holistic Therapy & Wellness NY, we take a multidimensional view of the therapy process. Healing is not one-size-fits-all. As a licensed psychotherapist and trauma-informed EMDR specialist in Manhattan, I know that therapy outcomes are shaped by many moving parts—clinical skill, relational fit, life circumstances, and the willingness of both participants to engage in the work.
Below are some common reasons why therapy may not succeed:
1. Mismatch Between Therapist and Client
A strong therapeutic alliance is the foundation of good therapy. Sometimes, despite credentials or experience, there’s simply a lack of chemistry, shared language, or attunement. If a client doesn’t feel seen or understood, progress can stall.
2. Unrealistic Expectations
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. In New York City, where productivity is prized, clients may expect rapid transformation. But meaningful change often requires time, vulnerability, and the willingness to sit in discomfort. Therapy works best when there’s a shared commitment to the long game.