Betrayal trauma in an intimate relationship is unlike any other form of betrayal. It shatters your heart and changes your relationship forever. If you have a history of relational trauma or betrayal, it can feel even more impactful. When a partner cheats, it doesn’t have to ruin a marriage, though it can certainly be a turning point. How a couple navigates through it depends on many factors, such as the nature of the betrayal, the level of trust, the history of the relationship, and, most importantly, the willingness of both partners to heal and rebuild. Now the real work begins after an intimate betrayal disrupts a relationship. Couple therapy will not succeed in healing the trauma if both partners are not fully committed.

Some couples can work through betrayal by having open, honest conversations, seeking counseling, and rebuilding trust over time. It can be a long and painful process, but it’s not impossible. Others, however, might find the betrayal too much to overcome, or they are unwilling to remain in the relationship. A skilled and experienced relationship counselor can help you identify the root causes of the affair and uncover deeper issues within the relationship and the partner who strayed.

Can my marriage ever be whole again? Will we ever move beyond this? Can I forgive? Can I ever trust my spouse again? Can we truly experience full healing after betrayal trauma? Can I hold hope that are relationship can be even more fulfilling?

These questions are heavy on the soul. When someone you love betrays you, it can have profound emotional, psychological, and even physical effects.

Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being triggered. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future. As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, struggling after a break up is a common reason people seek counseling and therapy.

Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams. 

Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.

Starting over can be scary. It is normal to wonder if you will ever find love or another partner again as well as other future uncertainties. Many feel that staying with what they know, even if it's an unhappy partnership, is better than being alone. It's important to remind yourself, that it is possible to move on to find happiness either alone or with someone else. Healing takes time and recovery requires patience and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.