Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
How EMDR Therapy Helps You Break the Trauma Bond
Trauma bonds are not ordinary attachments—they are survival-driven connections formed in the shadow of emotional abuse. They arise from repeated cycles of idealization and devaluation, warmth followed by withdrawal, praise laced with punishment. These unpredictable patterns of affection and cruelty create a powerful psychological hook that binds you to someone who may be hurting you. Even after the relationship ends, the imprint remains. You might find yourself thinking about them constantly, doubting your decision to leave, or craving their validation despite knowing how much pain they caused. This is not love. This is the trauma bond at work.
Trauma bonding is common in narcissistic relationships, emotionally abusive dynamics, and situations involving power imbalance. It leaves you stuck in a push-pull pattern where logic says “run,” but your nervous system says “stay.” You may intellectually understand that the relationship was toxic or unsafe, yet still feel pulled back in. That inner conflict—of knowing and still longing—is not a personal failure. It’s a trauma response.
Healing from this kind of emotional entanglement requires more than insight or willpower. It calls for a deeper level of healing—one that addresses the body’s stress response, rewires attachment pathways, and restores a sense of safety from the inside out. This is exactly where EMDR therapy proves to be a transformative and empowering tool for narcissistic abuse recovery.