Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
DBT Skills: Observe Your Thoughts, Reduce Your Anxiety
A Mindfulness Practice to Calm the Mind and Soothe the Nervous System
Mindfulness is the practice of being present—fully and non-judgmentally—with whatever is happening in the moment. It's about gently noticing your breath, your thoughts, your emotions, and your physical body, without trying to fix, change, or escape anything. When practiced consistently, mindfulness has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, anger, and overwhelm.
If you're someone who struggles with racing thoughts, chronic stress, or emotional reactivity, this simple daily mindfulness exercise can help you create space between stimulus and response, allowing your nervous system to reset.
This is a foundational practice I often share with clients at Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, especially those seeking relief from anxiety, panic, trauma, or the emotional effects of chronic stress. It’s especially useful when paired with psychotherapy, EMDR, somatic therapy, or integrative coaching.
Step-by-Step Guided Mindfulness Practice
Find a quiet and comfortable spot to sit or lie down. Let your body settle.
Soften your jaw. Unclench your hands. Allow your shoulders to drop. Close your eyes if that feels safe and comfortable.
Begin with the breath
Gently bring your attention to your breath.
Notice the rhythm of your inhalation and exhalation.
Feel the air as it moves in through your nose and fills your lungs.
Exhale slowly, letting your body sink more deeply into support.
There’s nothing you need to change or fix. Just observe the movement of your breath. Imagine that you are riding the wave of your breath, flowing in and out with ease. You are safe in this moment.
Shift your awareness to your thoughts
Now bring gentle attention to your thoughts.
You are not your thoughts. You are the observer.
Notice whatever arises—without judgment, without effort.
Shyness, Social Anxiety, and the Hidden Toll of Coping with Alcohol: A NYC Therapist’s Perspective
Do you find yourself thinking in extremes? Are you someone who struggles with "all or nothing" thinking because sitting with conflicting emotions feels overwhelming? If so, you're not alone.
For many people, ambivalence—the experience of having mixed or contradictory feelings—is profoundly uncomfortable. We crave certainty, clarity, and a sense of control. Feeling torn can be anxiety-inducing. But in reality, ambivalence is a normal, healthy emotional state, and learning to tolerate it is a powerful skill that fosters resilience, flexibility, and emotional intelligence.
In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), this process is known as walking the Middle Path—a practice that invites both acceptance and change. When we learn to hold space for opposing truths, we move toward balance, emotional maturity, and greater well-being.
What Is Ambivalence And Why Is It So Uncomfortable?
Ambivalence is the simultaneous presence of conflicting feelings—loving someone and feeling frustrated with them, wanting change but fearing what it might bring, feeling both hopeful and uncertain. Most people try to resolve ambivalence quickly, choosing one side over the other in an attempt to reduce inner tension.
But the truth is, trying to force clarity before it’s ready can lead to impulsive decisions, emotional reactivity, and chronic dissatisfaction. The path to greater peace often begins by learning to tolerate the discomfort of the "gray zone."
How The Middle Path Can Help You Break Free From Black-And-White Thinking
If you struggle with rigid thinking or emotional extremes, the following strategies can help you begin to embrace more nuance, flexibility, and inner calm.