you may not realize that Shame avoidance is keeping you from having a pleasurable and satisfying life. you can Heal the weight of shame with self-compassion and clarity.

Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness Manhattan offers highly effective shame therapy in New York City and throughout New York State via teletherapy, specializing in the treatment of toxic shame, chronic self-criticism, and shame-based defenses using evidence-based and integrative approaches, including EMDR Therapy, Relational Psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).

Shame is not who you are—it is something you learned. And what has been learned can be gently unlearned.

Find the Best New York Therapist to Help You Work with Shame

Finding the right therapist to build shame resilience in New York City means working with someone who understands how deeply shame can shape thoughts, emotions, identity, and behavior—often outside of conscious awareness.

The best NYC shame therapist will help you:

• Identify shame triggers and shame-based thought patterns

• Understand the origins of toxic or internalized shame

• Develop self-compassion and self-acceptance

• Reduce chronic self-criticism and harsh inner dialogue

• Build emotional resilience and nervous system safety

• Create healthier relational patterns

Effective shame therapy often integrates EMDR therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, CBT, IFS, somatic therapy, and compassion-focused interventions, tailored to your unique history and goals.

In a high-pressure, fast-paced city like NYC, feeling deeply understood, supported, and emotionally safe often matters more than credentials alone. With the right therapeutic fit, therapy becomes a space to transform shame into self-awareness, reclaim your inherent worth, and live more authentically.

Helpful Information About Shame

Many people do not realize that shame sits at the core of much of their emotional suffering.

Shame is a complex emotional response that typically forms in early development. It often presents as a pervasive sense of being “bad,” “defective,” or “not enough.” Unlike guilt (which relates to behavior), shame attaches to identity—creating the belief that you are the problem.

Unresolved shame can become global, influencing:

• Self-esteem and self-worth

• Relationships and intimacy

• Productivity and creativity

• Career confidence

• Emotional expression

Shame is commonly linked to:

• Anxiety and social anxiety

• Depression

• Perfectionism

• Substance use and addiction

• Anger and rage

• Acting-out or self-destructive behaviors

• Body image distress and eating disorders

• Sexual difficulties

• Codependency

Many clients enter therapy unaware that shame is the underlying force behind longstanding struggles.

How Shame Develops

Toxic shame often grows out of experiences such as:

• Childhood emotional neglect

• Childhood physical, emotional, or sexual abuse

• Relational trauma

• Verbal or psychological abuse

• Narcissistic abuse

• Bullying or chronic rejection

• Inconsistent or conditional caregiving

When a child repeatedly experiences invalidation or lack of emotional safety, they often conclude:
“There is something wrong with me.”

This belief can persist into adulthood, even when circumstances change.

What It Can Feel Like to Live with Shame

• Feeling small, defective, or invisible

• Lack of agency or control in your life

• Believing your needs do not matter

• Difficulty expressing your true self

• Hiding emotions or keeping feelings inside

• Isolation and withdrawal

• Freezing or shutting down in relationships

• Perfectionism and fear of failure

• Easily taken advantage of

• Chronic defensiveness or reactivity

• Feeling unlovable, unwanted, or rejected

• Poor eye contact or collapsed posture

At their core, individuals struggling with shame often feel unworthy of love or belonging.

How Toxic Shame Impacts Relationships

• Difficulty forming and sustaining close bonds

• Fear of vulnerability and intimacy

• Staying in abusive or unhealthy relationships

• Repeated relational patterns of abandonment or rejection

• Acting abusively toward others as a defense

• Chronic people-pleasing or withdrawal

• Inability to trust others

Shame-based defenses are attempts to protect against pain—but they often create more suffering.

Common Shame-Based Coping Strategies

Many people attempt to escape or numb shame through:

• Substance use or misuse

• Addictive or compulsive behaviors

• Restrictive eating or binge eating

• Self-harm behaviors

• Perfectionism and overachievement

• Self-sabotage

• Overworking

• Codependency

• Difficulty setting boundaries

Research indicates that toxic internalized shame is strongly associated with suicidal ideation, making professional support especially important.

How Shame Therapy Helps

Shame does not heal through willpower or positive thinking alone. Healing occurs through safe relational experience, nervous system regulation, and trauma processing.

Therapy can help you:

• Understand where your shame originated

• Separate your identity from past experiences

• Process painful memories that shaped self-beliefs

• Develop a compassionate inner voice

• Build tolerance for vulnerability

• Experience yourself as worthy and acceptable

• Create healthier relationships

Specialized Shame Therapy in NYC

I use an integrative, trauma-informed approach that may include:

• EMDR Therapy – to reprocess shame-linked memories

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – to heal wounded parts

• Somatic Experiencing – to regulate the nervous system

• Relational Psychotherapy – to repair attachment wounds

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – to challenge shame-based thinking

• Mindfulness & Self-Compassion Practices

Each treatment plan is individualized and paced with care.

About Shame Therapy NYC

This practice provides individualized psychotherapy for shame, low self-esteem, trauma, anxiety, depression, and relational difficulties throughout NYC and New York State.

Therapy begins with a comprehensive consultation where you gain clarity about your struggles and next steps. Many clients feel relief simply from being deeply understood. Together, we determine the most supportive modalities to help you heal and move forward.

If you are searching for:

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I invite you to reach out to schedule a consultation and begin your path toward self-acceptance, emotional freedom, and wholeness.