Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
DBT Mind Shift: You Are Not Your Feelings
Are you someone who gives your emotions and physical sensations too much power? It's quite habitual for many to get swept up in the tide of strong feelings and emotions. Sometimes the tide rolls in without warning—fast and fierce—leaving you feeling distressed and emotionally dysregulated. The fierce and familiar nature of these emotional storms are a familiar response for you, and also confusing. Confusing because it feels like it’s happening in the here and now, and it may be to some extent, but it may also have roots in the there and then or long ago. That’s how triggers work, and that’s how one can get swept away.
Emotions can feel strong, and even overwhelm, but remember, you are NOT your emotions. To increase your self-esteem and sense of agency, notice when powerful feelings arise within you. Notice this experience and be curious about what may have triggered this in you. You can even direct your attention to your body. What do you notice? Where do you feel it? Is it okay to just notice and stay with the feeling and emotion a little longer without responding? You might typically say "I can’t do this, I'm completely overwhelmed." Try a reframe by saying "I feel completely overwhelmed." How does this simple shift help?
By understanding that "overwhelm" is a feeling, and that you can pause, tolerate, ride it out and ultimately survive, your life will improve. The tide does not need to take you down or cause destruction, you can learn the ride the wave. This technique is DBT speak for learning to “ride the wave.” Feelings are temporary states; they are transitory in nature. Feelings pass. Learn more about this important DBT distress tolerance skill surfing here. The psychological impact of this strategic shift can change your life.
DBT Skills: Observe Your Thoughts, Reduce Your Anxiety
A Mindfulness Practice to Calm the Mind and Soothe the Nervous System
Mindfulness is the practice of being present—fully and non-judgmentally—with whatever is happening in the moment. It's about gently noticing your breath, your thoughts, your emotions, and your physical body, without trying to fix, change, or escape anything. When practiced consistently, mindfulness has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, anger, and overwhelm.
If you're someone who struggles with racing thoughts, chronic stress, or emotional reactivity, this simple daily mindfulness exercise can help you create space between stimulus and response, allowing your nervous system to reset.
This is a foundational practice I often share with clients at Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, especially those seeking relief from anxiety, panic, trauma, or the emotional effects of chronic stress. It’s especially useful when paired with psychotherapy, EMDR, somatic therapy, or integrative coaching.
Step-by-Step Guided Mindfulness Practice
Find a quiet and comfortable spot to sit or lie down. Let your body settle.
Soften your jaw. Unclench your hands. Allow your shoulders to drop. Close your eyes if that feels safe and comfortable.
Begin with the breath
Gently bring your attention to your breath.
Notice the rhythm of your inhalation and exhalation.
Feel the air as it moves in through your nose and fills your lungs.
Exhale slowly, letting your body sink more deeply into support.
There’s nothing you need to change or fix. Just observe the movement of your breath. Imagine that you are riding the wave of your breath, flowing in and out with ease. You are safe in this moment.
Shift your awareness to your thoughts
Now bring gentle attention to your thoughts.
You are not your thoughts. You are the observer.
Notice whatever arises—without judgment, without effort.