Do you find yourself thinking in extremes? Are you someone who struggles with "all or nothing" thinking because sitting with conflicting emotions feels overwhelming? If so, you're not alone.

For many people, ambivalence—the experience of having mixed or contradictory feelings—is profoundly uncomfortable. We crave certainty, clarity, and a sense of control. Feeling torn can be anxiety-inducing. But in reality, ambivalence is a normal, healthy emotional state, and learning to tolerate it is a powerful skill that fosters resilience, flexibility, and emotional intelligence.

In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), this process is known as walking the Middle Path—a practice that invites both acceptance and change. When we learn to hold space for opposing truths, we move toward balance, emotional maturity, and greater well-being.

What Is Ambivalence And Why Is It So Uncomfortable?

Ambivalence is the simultaneous presence of conflicting feelings—loving someone and feeling frustrated with them, wanting change but fearing what it might bring, feeling both hopeful and uncertain. Most people try to resolve ambivalence quickly, choosing one side over the other in an attempt to reduce inner tension.

But the truth is, trying to force clarity before it’s ready can lead to impulsive decisions, emotional reactivity, and chronic dissatisfaction. The path to greater peace often begins by learning to tolerate the discomfort of the "gray zone."

How The Middle Path Can Help You Break Free From Black-And-White Thinking

If you struggle with rigid thinking or emotional extremes, the following strategies can help you begin to embrace more nuance, flexibility, and inner calm.