Why you can feel “fine” in your relationship and still feel deeply disconnected.

As a New York City Couple & Marriage Therapist, I hear this concern a lot. Most people assume relationship problems are obvious: constant fighting, infidelity, or a major breach of trust. But there’s a quieter issue that rarely gets named, and yet it shows up in many couples.

Emotional boredom.

It’s the sense that the relationship is “safe,” “stable,” and even “good,” but something important is missing. You may feel:

• disconnected

• emotionally flat

• unexcited

• like you’re “coasting”

• like your relationship is more like a routine than a partnership

And you may wonder: “Is this just normal after a while?”

Sometimes it is. But often, emotional boredom is a sign of something deeper.

Emotional boredom is not the same as sexual boredom

This is a crucial distinction.