Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Finding Balance With DBT’s Wise Mind
Wise Mind is a highly-effective core skill used Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). According to DBT, we have three states of mind: reasonable mind, emotion mind, and wise mind. Wise mind is thought of as the balance or integration of the reasonable and the emotion mind. Reasonable mind is the rational part of you, just-the-facts, thinking state of mind where you are ruled by logic. When you find yourself governed by emotion mind, your emotions are in control. You tend to be led by strong feelings and desires. Both states have their value and provide important information, but it’s easy to become stuck in one state of mind, being either cut-off from emotions or controlled by emotions. That is where wise mind becomes an important ally in your goal to have a more balanced life and state of mind.
In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the goal is to have wise mind available to you in situations where you are pulled to an extreme state or polarization. Wise mind is the integration or intersection of the reasonable mind and the emotion mind. Put another way, wise mind is your intuition or inner wisdom. It’s the state where you are wisely able to balance between the cool detachment of reason, and the wild current of emotion mind. Incorporating this wise mind DBT practice allows you to find balance between inaction and the active state of doing. Practicing wise mind allows you to engage in your life with awareness, with the goal of mindful presence.
Radical Acceptance: Cultivating Peace Within When Life Feels Unbearable
This week in my eating disorder seminar, we revisited the concept of distress tolerance—the quiet, powerful skills we call upon when emotions feel overwhelming. As we explored how to navigate emotional intensity, I found myself reflecting on one of the most grounding practices we have: radical acceptance.
In a culture that urges us to fight, fix, or fake our feelings, radical acceptance invites something entirely different. It asks us to soften. To lean into the truth of what is, without judgment or resistance. It doesn’t mean we approve of pain or give up hope. It means we stop fighting reality—and begin meeting ourselves with compassion and clarity.
What Does Radical Acceptance Look Like?
Choosing to accept, fully and from within
True acceptance isn’t performative or forced. It’s not bypassing, and it’s not pretending. It comes from within, and it begins with the willingness to be honest about what’s here.Recognizing that pain is part of being human
Every one of us experiences fear, sorrow, grief, shame, and heartbreak. These emotions are not flaws. They are evidence of aliveness. When we stop judging our pain, we begin to suffer less.Stopping the fight against reality
Resisting emotions often amplifies them. Avoiding pain often deepens our distress. Radical acceptance helps us release the exhausting need to control what cannot be controlled. And in doing so, we begin to make space for peace.
It’s not the emotion itself that overwhelms us. It’s the struggle against it.
Improving the Moment: Skills from DBT Therapy
When radical acceptance feels out of reach, distress tolerance skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help us get through the moment without making things worse. One helpful acronym is IMPROVE, which offers small, doable strategies to shift your state and calm your nervous system.
Imagery
Visualize a safe or peaceful place. Allow yourself to engage all your senses. Imagine what you see, hear, smell, and feel in that space. Let your body respond as if it were real.