Radical Acceptance: Cultivating Peace Within When Life Feels Unbearable
This week in my eating disorder seminar, we revisited the concept of distress tolerance—the quiet, powerful skills we call upon when emotions feel overwhelming. As we explored how to navigate emotional intensity, I found myself reflecting on one of the most grounding practices we have: radical acceptance.
In a culture that urges us to fight, fix, or fake our feelings, radical acceptance invites something entirely different. It asks us to soften. To lean into the truth of what is, without judgment or resistance. It doesn’t mean we approve of pain or give up hope. It means we stop fighting reality—and begin meeting ourselves with compassion and clarity.
What Does Radical Acceptance Look Like?
Choosing to accept, fully and from within
True acceptance isn’t performative or forced. It’s not bypassing, and it’s not pretending. It comes from within, and it begins with the willingness to be honest about what’s here.Recognizing that pain is part of being human
Every one of us experiences fear, sorrow, grief, shame, and heartbreak. These emotions are not flaws. They are evidence of aliveness. When we stop judging our pain, we begin to suffer less.Stopping the fight against reality
Resisting emotions often amplifies them. Avoiding pain often deepens our distress. Radical acceptance helps us release the exhausting need to control what cannot be controlled. And in doing so, we begin to make space for peace.
It’s not the emotion itself that overwhelms us. It’s the struggle against it.
Improving the Moment: Skills from DBT Therapy
When radical acceptance feels out of reach, distress tolerance skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help us get through the moment without making things worse. One helpful acronym is IMPROVE, which offers small, doable strategies to shift your state and calm your nervous system.
Imagery
Visualize a safe or peaceful place. Allow yourself to engage all your senses. Imagine what you see, hear, smell, and feel in that space. Let your body respond as if it were real.
Meaning
Try to connect to the meaning behind your pain. Is there something this experience is teaching you? Even if that meaning isn't clear yet, trust that insight can come over time.
Prayer
This can be spiritual, meditative, or simply a quiet intention. It might take the form of a mantra, affirmation, or connection to something greater than yourself—your breath, your resilience, or a guiding belief.
Relaxation
Choose practices that allow your body to soften. Deep breathing, gentle movement, warm baths, music, or guided meditation. Find what soothes your system and bring it into your daily rhythm.
One thing at a time
Multitasking adds to distress. Focus your attention on just one task, one breath, one moment. Let that be enough. Slowing down is a form of care.
Vacation
Give yourself permission to mentally step away. Whether it’s five minutes of quiet, a walk around the block, or imagining yourself in a serene place—this kind of pause helps reset your system.
Encouragement
Speak kindly to yourself. Use self-talk that is calming and compassionate. Remind yourself, “I’m doing the best I can.” Even if you don’t believe it fully, practice makes space for gentleness.
Radical Acceptance Is a Practice
It’s not a one-time decision. It’s something we return to again and again. Sometimes it’s moment by moment. Sometimes it’s messy. Sometimes we forget, and then remember.
But in the remembering, we begin to reclaim something powerful—our ability to be with what is, without abandoning ourselves.
Whether you're healing from trauma, struggling with disordered eating, living with anxiety, or simply moving through a difficult season, radical acceptance can be your anchor. It is not about giving up. It is about giving in to truth, to presence, and ultimately, to peace.
about holistic therapy, EMDR & wellness NY
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW is a New York State Licensed Psychotherapist, Advanced EMDR and Somatic Therapy Practitioner, and Couples Therapist with a boutique private practice in New York City. With extensive post-graduate training and certifications from globally renowned institutions and experts, Kimberly offers a deeply personalized, integrative approach to psychotherapy that bridges science, somatics, and soulful insight.
Her clinical expertise includes EMDR therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), CBT and DBT skills training, positive neuroplasticity, hypnotherapy, and attachment-based couples therapy. Kimberly also provides crisis-focused counseling, coaching for high-functioning professionals, and emotional health assessments related to perimenopause and menopause—an area of specialization rarely addressed in traditional mental health care.
As a New Yorker, Kimberly is uniquely attuned to the demands of high-achieving, high-profile individuals. She offers discreet, concierge-style therapy and coaching for executives, creatives, public figures, and professionals navigating anxiety, burnout, trauma, life transitions, and complex relationships. Her therapeutic space is confidential, attuned, and trauma-informed—ideal for those seeking depth, transformation, and emotional recalibration.
Kimberly is also trained in Urban Zen Integrative Therapy, combining energy psychology, breathwork, and restorative yoga therapy—a holistic, somatic modality designed to calm the nervous system and support whole-person healing.
At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, Kimberly provides online therapy and coaching for individuals, couples, and professionals experiencing:
Anxiety, panic, and chronic stress
Depression and mood dysregulation
PTSD and trauma-related symptoms
Relationship and intimacy issues
High-conflict couples and attachment wounds
Grief, loss, and life transitions
Identity concerns, burnout, and executive overwhelm
Hormone-related emotional challenges (perimenopause, menopause)
Career stagnation and creative blocks
Through a carefully tailored, evidence-based approach, Kimberly helps clients cultivate inner resilience, emotional clarity, and sustainable well-being. Her therapeutic process is both deep and actionable—designed to help clients clear emotional obstacles, gain insight, and reconnect with a greater sense of meaning and vitality.
Virtual Therapy for Busy New Yorkers
Kimberly understands the fast-paced, often overwhelming nature of life in New York City. That’s why her practice offers flexible virtual therapy designed to meet the needs of busy, high-functioning individuals balancing demanding careers, relationships, parenting, and personal growth. Services include:
Weekly and biweekly psychotherapy sessions
Short-term intensive or crisis-focused therapy
EMDR intensives and trauma reprocessing
Virtual couples therapy and relational coaching
Mind-body interventions for stress, sleep, and hormonal shifts
Concierge therapy packages with between-session access
Whether you're navigating trauma, burnout, performance anxiety, or relationship distress, Kimberly’s integrative approach meets you where you are—while supporting you in where you long to go.
Schedule a consultation today to learn more about working with Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW at Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY—serving Manhattan and beyond via secure telehealth.
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