This week in my eating disorder seminar, we revisited the concept of distress tolerance—the quiet, powerful skills we call upon when emotions feel overwhelming. As we explored how to navigate emotional intensity, I found myself reflecting on one of the most grounding practices we have: radical acceptance.

In a culture that urges us to fight, fix, or fake our feelings, radical acceptance invites something entirely different. It asks us to soften. To lean into the truth of what is, without judgment or resistance. It doesn’t mean we approve of pain or give up hope. It means we stop fighting reality—and begin meeting ourselves with compassion and clarity.

What Does Radical Acceptance Look Like?

1. Choosing to accept, fully and from within
   True acceptance isn’t performative or forced. It’s not bypassing, and it’s not pretending. It comes from within, and it begins with the willingness to be honest about what’s here.

2. Recognizing that pain is part of being human
   Every one of us experiences fear, sorrow, grief, shame, and heartbreak. These emotions are not flaws. They are evidence of aliveness. When we stop judging our pain, we begin to suffer less.

3. Stopping the fight against reality
   Resisting emotions often amplifies them. Avoiding pain often deepens our distress. Radical acceptance helps us release the exhausting need to control what cannot be controlled. And in doing so, we begin to make space for peace.

It’s not the emotion itself that overwhelms us. It’s the struggle against it.

Improving the Moment: Skills from DBT Therapy

When radical acceptance feels out of reach, distress tolerance skills from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help us get through the moment without making things worse. One helpful acronym is IMPROVE, which offers small, doable strategies to shift your state and calm your nervous system.

Imagery
Visualize a safe or peaceful place. Allow yourself to engage all your senses. Imagine what you see, hear, smell, and feel in that space. Let your body respond as if it were real.