Wise Mind is a highly-effective core skill used Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). According to DBT, we have three states of mind: reasonable mind, emotion mind, and wise mind. Wise mind is thought of as the balance or integration of the reasonable and the emotion mind. Reasonable mind is the rational part of you, just-the-facts, thinking state of mind where you are ruled by logic. When you find yourself governed by emotion mind, your emotions are in control. You tend to be led by strong feelings and desires. Both states have their value and provide important information, but it’s easy to become stuck in one state of mind, being either cut-off from emotions or controlled by emotions. That is where wise mind becomes an important ally in your goal to have a more balanced life and state of mind.

In dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the goal is to have wise mind available to you in situations where you are pulled to an extreme state or polarization. Wise mind is the integration or intersection of the reasonable mind and the emotion mind. Put another way, wise mind is your intuition or inner wisdom. It’s the state where you are wisely able to balance between the cool detachment of reason, and the wild current of emotion mind. Incorporating this wise mind DBT practice allows you to find balance between inaction and the active state of doing. Practicing wise mind allows you to engage in your life with awareness, with the goal of mindful presence.

If traditional talk therapy has left you feeling discouraged with your healing progress, EMDR might be the solution that finally leads to symptom reduction. Many psychotherapists who are skilled with EMDR therapy are successfully working with their patients online using virtual EMDR. Many of us discovered that we could begin or continue EMDR Therapy virtually during the pandemic.

As a specialist in trauma therapy and an advanced level II EMDR practitioner in New York City, I have been helping patients heal and address challenges through online EMDR therapy. Many feel better after just a handful of sessions and will say “why didn’t my therapist tell me about this sooner?” Not everyone is trained in EMDR, but those who practice this modality know just how effective EMDR therapy is. EMDR is most commonly known to resolve PTSD and trauma. It’s also very effective for getting to the root cause of anxiety, depression, chronic sadness, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders, fears, phobias, grief, performance enhancement, and so much more.

EMDR therapy uses a process called Bilateral Stimulation to facilitate healing. Virtual EMDR therapists help patients process trauma using self-administered BLS by tapping on the knees, butterfly hug tapping or online software that stimulates rapid eye movement such as remotEMDR. Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) focuses on reducing the impact that episodic distress, anxiety, fear, depression, phobias, triggers, negative emotions and traumatic memories have on your life.

We are all born with unique attributes and qualities. If we are fortunate enough to have optimal circumstances and nurturance along the way, we develop into secure adults. Adults with secure attachment and relational capacity are able to have meaningful experiences and relationships. They feel safe in the world and with others. Secure individuals are free to thrive.

As it turns out, most of us have had more adversity than is helpful. While some adversity makes us strong (we develop skill and resilience), too much adversity threatens to overwhelm us. It interferes with growth, because we are unable to feel safe, explore the world and develop adaptive coping strategies. Reduced capacity to cope naturally leads to anxiety, depression, addictions, compulsions, eating disorders and other troubling symptoms. When symptoms and poor coping takes over, our ability to establish healthy relationships, maintain those relationships and function well in the world is diminished. Sometimes we are fortunate enough to make an important connection to begin the healing process. The therapeutic relationship is one way to begin to heal.

Mental health seems to be experiencing a time of less stigma and greater awareness. People seem to feel safe sharing their mental health struggles on social media. The pandemic certainly led to an increase in loneliness, isolation, anxiety and terror, which led many to seek therapy and counseling, sometimes for the first time. This exploration to find a therapist also led to a great deal of confusion. With so many potential therapists and different therapeutic orientations, the big question becomes, “what’s the right type of therapy for me?”

Many want a quick fix as they enter therapy. Of course, short-term models that offer skill building and concrete interventions have their place. The problem with this strategy is that it rarely moves the needle when it comes to true healing.

You have areas of your life where you struggle, but you’re not sure about next steps. Whether you are searching to resolve difficulties for yourself or your relationships, you have options. If you do a quick search for a therapist or coach, you will find quite literally, thousands. Searching for a therapist or coach in New York City can be quite overwhelming. Coaches have many specialities, such as: executive coaching, health coaching and relationship coaching, as just a few examples. Additionally, the field of mental health offers many professional titles that can be equally confusing, such as psychotherapist, psychologist, psychoanalyst, counselor, as examples.

When searching for your guide, you may have noticed that many therapists also provide coaching. Some therapists have received coaching training, while others have not. This is an acceptable practice because coaching is an unregulated field. There is no board exam that must be passed in order to hang a shingle as a life coach. Licensed psychotherapists, counselors and psychologists, who have not been trained to coach, can offer coaching services. The challenge is: many who struggle with mental health issues are often drawn to coaching because it is a non-pathologizing path towards freeing yourself. Which means that coaches can find themselves doing therapy, and regularly cross that line with people who happen to be vulnerable. This is problematic, because coaches who are not licensed in a mental health field should not attempt to provide mental health services. They simply are not trained should problems arise, and they do.

How do you know which is the right fit for you? If you have a history of mental health concerns or trauma(s) that have impacted your functioning, you are better served working with a licensed therapist. They are in the best position to help you heal the root cause of your struggles. If you are a higher-functioning individual, personally and professionally, coaching can give you the help you need. Coaching sessions are highly-focused and designed to offer solutions to quickly help you get your life back on track.

As a Manhattan-based licensed psychotherapist in private practice, I get this question a lot. What do all these acronyms after last names actually mean? And what do you need to find the very best NYC therapist for you and your healing goals? You are struggling right now and need to find high-quality mental health care in New York City, but it’s all so confusing. Your search for the right therapist can be intimidating and downright overwhelming. Should you work with a private therapist or should you sort through the group practices to find the best therapist for you? All those acronyms; all those modalities—getting started with therapy should be easier!

I’m sharing with you a trend that I’ve noticed, that you may not be aware of. Many group therapy practices charge standard psychotherapy fees and even high fees, and place you with a therapist trainee. This practice should be disclosed to you so you are fully informed about your care. When you are assigned to a therapist, you have a right to ask about their training and experience.

All therapists in training (in my field that’s an LMSW, until they reach LCSW designation) will undergo nearly 3 years of supervision or about 3000 mandatory practice hours. If you’re assigned to an LMSW, you’re working with a therapist who is being supervised as they work towards their hours. After a therapist in training has met this requirement, they are autonomous and can then work in private practice without supervision. If you work with a therapist undergoing supervision, your therapist or counselor will need to discuss your case at weekly meetings with their licensed, supervising therapist.

Some common reasons people reach out for therapy and counseling is to address their new or longstanding mental health challenges. Symptoms such as anxiety, depression, addiction, insomnia and lack of motivation are often so debilitating that they are unable to live the life they desire. In my experience, psychiatric medications are essential for many, and truly life saving. But for those who have not had success with traditional psychiatry, it’s worth considering the highly-effective natural solutions that are rarely offered in conventional medicine.

Many mental health symptoms are all indications that levels of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, GABA, and the catecholamines dopamine and norepinephrine (there are more) are low. This is otherwise known as neurotransmitter dysfunction or imbalance. There are four main neurotransmitters involved with mood and behavior, and they are: serotonin, GABA, endorphins and the catecholamines (dopamine/Norepinephrine). The main focus with Amino Acid Therapy in clinical practice is on the serotonin-catecholamine system. Low levels of each of these, lead to a very specific pattern of mental health symptoms. It’s important to know that there are many reasons why brains become depleted and imbalanced, such as, trauma, chronic stress, chronic pain, loss, poor nutrition, addiction, hormonal changes and genetic predisposition, and thankfully, there are effective and powerful ways to restore brain health.

Our bodies need amino acids to work properly, and they are crucial to metabolic function. Some amino acids are made by the body, and others come from your diet. Typically, when you consume a protein, your body breaks it down and what's left is the amino acid. Amino acids are precursors to neurotransmitters, and when these vital messengers are deficient or imbalanced, information is not relayed optimally in the brain, and symptoms arise. Amino acid therapy aims to heal and restore the brain to optimal functioning by supplementing what’s missing based on history, symptoms, behaviors and response to trial treatment.

For as long as you can remember, others have labeled you as “too shy” or “too sensitive.” It sure doesn’t feel good to hear this, but it does describe your reality on the daily. Thinking about it, you’ve always felt alone, or very different. You may be more reactive than most to the moods of others, criticism can feel especially hostile, external stimuli and energy drains you. These are just a few examples of what it’s like as a Highly-Sensitive Person (HSP), also known as deep-feelers, neurodivergent individuals and Sensory-Processing Sensitivity (SPS). Navigating a noisy, demanding world as a highly-sensitive person can be disabling for many especially as you attempt to accommodate and manage the accompanying anxiety and depression. But remember, sensitive folks have great gifts. They tend to experience high levels of perceptivity and intuition, empathy and super-attunement, and even high levels of creativity. Sometimes, your exquisite sensitivity feels like a gift; it can also feel like a curse. Please know that you are not alone and you do not need to suffer in silence.

Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.

This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In

Mental health recovery and trauma recovery is not a linear process, and thinking that it should be only creates more shame and defeat. As you walk the path of healing, It’s important to remember that…

• the grief process is not linear

• mental health recovery is not linear

• addiction recovery is not linear

• healing a broken heart is not linear

• trauma processing is not linear

• learning to set healthy boundaries is not linear

• self-growth in therapy and counseling is not linear

Be kind to YOU and offer yourself compassion and grace every time you stumble or fall. This is how you heal.

Whether you’re researching EMDR because you find yourself unable to fly or visit the dentist, or you have suffered a traumatic event, EMDR can help you heal and move forward with your life. I am a trauma-trained specialist which means that I utilize this powerful method of healing whenever possible. I’ve trained in many modalities, and stray occasionally, but I always return to EMDR, because it is powerfully effective and transformative for my patients. EMDR is a cutting-edge, evidence-based trauma treatment that can free you from emotional and relational patterns of suffering. The effects of trauma, including anxiety, depression, PTSD, addictions, suicidal thoughts and dysfunctional relationships can be impactful and debilitating. Most who have attempted to resolve trauma through therapy would agree that traditional talk therapy is not always helpful. As an integrative psychotherapist in New York City, I offer an integrative approach using EMDR while blending other forms of highly-effective therapies into sessions. In addition to EMDR, I often utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Somatic Experiencing (SE) to help unearth the root cause of anxiety, depression, addictions and trauma-related symptoms. I’ve had success using this integrative approach with my patients.

Guided Meditation is a resource for relaxation and a type of focused meditation to help create calm and ease in the mind and body. With this technique for relaxation, you concentrate on an image, place, object, sound, or experience that feels soothing or grounding, offering refuge from your daily stressors, settling your nervous system. The goal is to promote a calm state in the mind and body through relaxation and mindfulness. Your nervous system should begin to follow your thoughts and reset. You may have noticed that if you think about stressful events, you experience tension in your body, your mind may race and heart rate and blood pressure follow. If you train yourself to take moments in your day to focus your awareness on something pleasant, your mind and body will relax. You may notice less tension in your body and a sense of ease. Having a practice such as guided imagery can help you better handle your daily stressors and develop a sense of vitality and resilience.

Stress is present for all of us, especially when we live and work in busy cities like Manhattan and attempt to manage the demands of work-life balance. Chronic, unrelenting stress can affect one's physical and mental health—we have the science to prove this. Stress also regularly shows up in the body as pain and other symptoms, in addition to accelerated aging. Unmanaged stress can lead to insomnia and memory problems, increase one's risk of heart disease, have an impact on diabetes and arthritis, contribute to the development of eczema and autoimmune disorders, and even lead to reduced resistance and immune system depression.

Changing habits and negative thoughts can be a challenge for most of us, but with stress management support, it is possible to eliminate the old and adopt healthier, health-sustaining habits. Those who have a difficult time coping with stress on their own often turn to unhealthy ways of coping such as food, substances and behavioral addictions, which then leads to what seems to be a never-ending cycle of shame, leading to more unhealthy ways coping.

For nearly two decades, I have received the benefits of essential oils in my health and well-being and at home. I continue learning and refining my understanding of these healing plants and their chemistry, and how they powerfully assist healing and balance. Essential oils can be used for a range of physical and emotional wellness applications, either single oils or complex blends all have an impact at the cellular level. Many integrative therapists and wellness practitioners artfully add aromatherapy to enhance their yoga, ayurvedic or Reiki practice. Essential oils are usually administered by one of three methods: diffused aromatically, applied topically, or taken internally as dietary supplements. I love these oils and use them daily in my life and to enhance my personal yoga practice.

As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, I treat people who struggle with phobias. Phobias are a common form of psychological disorder and distress. Generally defined as irrational fears about objects or situations, people tend to see their phobias as unreasonable, but feel incapable of giving up the fear or confronting the situation head on. Not all phobias are severe enough to impact the quality of one's life, but some are. There are many ways to treat a phobia, and some treatment methods are much more effective than others. Most people have certain things or situations that create discomfort, but are still able to carry on with the daily activities of life. Individuals with phobias or a specific phobia have intense, irrational fears, and will experience great distress that disrupts their life, avoiding the object or situation altogether. Phobias can be categorized into three types: Simple, or situational, social phobias and agoraphobia.

Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being triggered. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future. As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, struggling after a break up is a common reason people seek counseling and therapy.

Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams. 

Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.

Starting over can be scary. It is normal to wonder if you will ever find love or another partner again as well as other future uncertainties. Many feel that staying with what they know, even if it's an unhappy partnership, is better than being alone. It's important to remind yourself, that it is possible to move on to find happiness either alone or with someone else. Healing takes time and recovery requires patience and treating yourself with kindness and compassion. 

Couples or those working with others in partnerships or other kinds of relationship dyads often need skills and tips on how to enter a discussion, and the best strategies for keeping it calm, and ultimately successful. Beginning an important discussion can be fraught with conflict, apprehension and fear. What follows are some simple tips to keep the conversation constructive. While the goal might be to make a point, have your point taken seriously, right a wrong or solve a problem, many conversations devolve into screaming matches. What follows are some simple communication pointers to keep important discussions from spiraling out of control.

The Power of Essential Oil Therapy in Holistic Healing

Essential oil therapy is a powerful, natural tool that supports a wide range of physical, emotional, and psychological healing. Whether used as single-origin oils or as part of synergistic blends, essential oils work at the cellular level to influence mood, energy, and wellbeing. Many integrative psychotherapists, EMDR practitioners, somatic therapists, and wellness professionals incorporate essential oils to deepen therapeutic outcomes—especially in trauma release sessions, yoga therapy, Reiki, and mindfulness-based practices.

Essential oils can be administered in three primary ways: aromatically through diffusion or direct inhalation, topically via the skin (often diluted in a carrier oil), or taken internally when guided by a knowledgeable provider. Personally, I use essential oils daily—in my own wellness rituals and to enhance yoga, meditation, and emotional regulation. I always recommend using only pure, therapeutic-grade essential oils sourced with integrity to ensure safety and efficacy.

What Are Essential Oils And How Do They Work?

Essential oils are highly concentrated plant extracts obtained through careful distillation or cold-pressing techniques. These potent oils contain complex chemical compounds that hold the therapeutic essence of the plant—its scent, flavor, and healing potential. In fact, it often takes pounds of plant material to produce a single drop of essential oil, which is why quality matters so deeply.

When inhaled, essential oil molecules travel through the olfactory system, directly stimulating the limbic brain—the seat of emotion, memory, and the stress response. The olfactory nerves transport scent molecules into the nasal cavity, where they are picked up by neurons and carried within milliseconds to areas like the amygdala, pineal gland, and pituitary gland.

As a psychotherapist with advanced training in neuroscience and mind-body medicine, I often hear from my New York City clients that they’re struggling with chronic stress, anxiety, depression, or insomnia. Many of them have already tried everything—from melatonin and prescription medications to meditation apps—but continue to feel stuck in the same frustrating cycle: they can’t sleep, they can’t relax, and they feel chronically depleted.

The long-term impact of disrupted sleep and chronic stress is well documented in both neuroscience and mental health research. And what many of my clients don’t realize is this: the nervous system itself holds the key to deep restoration—and it starts with something as simple and profound as your breath.

What Is Psychophysiologic Insomnia?

You might be surprised to learn that many people suffer from what's called psychophysiologic insomnia, also known as "learned insomnia." This type of sleep disruption often begins with a few stressful nights but soon becomes a habitual pattern where the body starts to anticipate stress at bedtime. The result? Heightened arousal, anxiety, and conditioned sleeplessness.

Many clients turn to medication, and while this can help in the short term, it’s often not a sustainable long-term strategy. In therapy, I focus on evidence-based lifestyle changes to regulate your nervous system and restore the brain’s natural sleep cycles—without dependence on medication.

(by Kim Seelbrede, originally posted on urbanzen.org)

The Healing Power of Self-Care for Nurses: A Reflection on Urban Zen Integrative Therapy at the NSNA Convention

As delicate snowflakes danced across the Utah sky, a sea of passionate and ambitious nursing students gathered in Salt Lake City for the 59th Annual National Student Nurses Association (NSNA) Convention. Beneath the buzz of clinical discussion and future-focused enthusiasm, a quieter and more essential invitation was extended to these frontline caregivers: to pause, to receive, and to restore.

In a serene space known as The Sanctuary—generously provided by Johnson & Johnson as part of their Campaign for Nursing’s Future—student nurses were welcomed into the calming embrace of Urban Zen Integrative Therapy (UZIT). It was here that many of them experienced, for the very first time, the profound impact of receiving care instead of providing it.

Nurses, Self-Neglect, and the Culture of Overgiving

The nursing profession is one of devotion, long hours, emotional labor, and unrelenting resilience. Nurses are celebrated as compassionate givers—but rarely taught the parallel art of receiving. In fact, many nurses internalize the idea that self-care is indulgent, or worse, selfish. As burnout and compassion fatigue become chronic conditions within the field, a new conversation must emerge: How do we care for the caretakers?

What many nurses are not taught in school—but urgently need—is the practical, embodied experience of self-care. Not a buzzword, not a spa day, but a deep nervous system reset. A return to being rather than constant doing. This is the heart of the Urban Zen Integrative Therapy model.

Creating a Healing Environment for Healing Professionals

Inside The Sanctuary, student nurses were guided through gentle restorative yoga poses, supported by skilled Urban Zen Integrative Therapists offering Reiki, essential oil therapy, and mindful breath awareness techniques. The results were immediate, visible, and profound. Stressed shoulders softened. Eyes welled with tears of release. Breathing slowed. Presence returned.

As one nurse quietly shared, “You’ve inspired me to take time for myself—to breathe and rest. I didn’t know how to do this.” Another student confided, “I feel blessed to have met you today. I’m finally able to be ‘in’ my body.”

These reflections speak to a deep and unmet need in the nursing profession: the need to feel safe enough to slow down and reconnect with the body. The need to be more than a set of hands. To feel held, witnessed, and restored.

Why Nurses Need More Than a Reminder—They Need a Roadmap

Nurses are often told to care for themselves, yet few are taught how. The Urban Zen Foundation responds to this gap with a practical and nourishing self-care curriculum that blends Eastern healing traditions with Western science—designed by healthcare professionals, for healthcare professionals. This model includes:

• Breathwork to regulate the nervous system

• Restorative movement to release tension

• Aromatherapy to shift emotional states and stimulate the limbic system

• Reiki to restore energetic balance

• Mindfulness practices to create calm and improve focus

These are not just self-care techniques. They are professional survival tools. When nurses are given permission and guidance to nourish themselves, they show up more fully—not only for patients but for their own lives.

Reclaiming Wholeness in a Fragmented System

The burnout crisis in healthcare is not simply about long hours and heavy caseloads—it’s about disconnection. Nurses have been trained to override their own needs for the sake of others. This disconnection from the self is unsustainable. Without intentional practices of reconnection, even the most skilled and passionate caregivers will feel depleted.

Our time in Salt Lake City was a call to action. As healthcare professionals and advocates, we must do more than remind nurses to take care of themselves—we must equip them with the knowledge, experiences, and embodied tools to make that care accessible and sustainable.

Healing Trauma: How Holistic Psychotherapy Can Help You Reclaim Safety, Stability, and Emotional Freedom

Trauma changes the brain—but healing does too.

At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, we understand that trauma—whether it’s a single overwhelming event or a history of chronic, developmental adversity—can fundamentally alter your nervous system, sense of safety, and ability to trust yourself and others. But we also know that with the right therapeutic support, the brain and body have an extraordinary capacity to rewire, rebuild, and recover.

Trauma Rewires The Brain—But So Does Healing

When traumatic experiences go unprocessed, they can keep the nervous system stuck in survival mode. Over time, the brain creates protective loops that perpetuate hyperarousal, emotional numbing, flashbacks, and a persistent feeling that the world is unsafe. These patterns are reinforced through repeated rumination, re-telling, and avoidance, deepening the grip trauma has on daily life.

The good news? Neuroplasticity—the brain’s natural ability to form new neural connections—allows us to release old trauma loops and build pathways rooted in safety, connection, and regulation. Therapy can support this transformation by offering resourcing, co-regulation, and reparative experiences that tell the body and brain: it’s safe to heal now.

“It’s Not Safe To Be Well”: The Hidden Belief That Keeps Trauma Alive

Many trauma survivors come to therapy with a surprising inner conflict—they deeply want to heal, yet feel resistance to feeling “well” or “whole.” This resistance is often rooted in a subconscious belief: if I relax, I won’t be ready for danger. Healing may feel unsafe, even threatening.

This belief is a survival strategy. After all, if you’ve been harmed before, staying hyper-vigilant can feel protective. But this chronic stress response blocks access to joy, connection, and rest. At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, we work gently to explore and reprocess these beliefs so that you can begin to experience wellness without fear.

What Does Trauma-Informed Healing Involve?

Each healing journey is unique. Whether you’re struggling with the effects of childhood trauma, sexual trauma, emotional abuse, medical trauma, or PTSD, our practice supports you in cultivating safety—internally and externally—before processing painful memories.

We offer therapy for trauma using modalities like: