Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Kimberly Seelbrede, LCSW, is a New York State licensed psychotherapist and women’s emotional health expert whose work weaves together the science of the mind, the biology of the brain, and the art of holistic integrative wellness. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, she helps women in midlife navigate the profound emotional, hormonal, and identity transitions that often surface during perimenopause and menopause. In addition, she works with couples to improve communication, strengthen emotional intimacy, and navigate changes in sexual health, relationship dynamics, and shared life stressors. She works with men who are experiencing personal and professional crises, life transitions, stress, mood changes, or relationship challenges. Her approach blends evidence-based psychotherapy with holistic mind-body interventions, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Somatic Experiencing® techniques, mindfulness, and lifestyle medicine — to address the full spectrum of emotional, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. Disclaimer: I am a licensed and fully credentialed mental health provider, but I am not a medical doctor. The information provided on this website is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical or health-related concerns, including perimenopause, menopause, hormone therapy, or other chronic medical conditions. Reliance on the content on this site is solely at your own risk.
Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: Reclaiming Self-Worth Through Therapy and EMDR
We’ve all been there—agreeing to something (again) that we knew wasn’t right for us. Now we’re stuck, overwhelmed, and resentful. How many times do we need to abandon our own needs, ignore that quiet inner voice, or sideline our authentic self before we realize it’s a pattern? The truth is, it often takes hitting that emotional breaking point—getting truly fed up with ourselves—before we’re ready to stop people-pleasing and start exploring why we keep putting ourselves last.
The issue of people-pleasing is one of the most common reasons people seek therapy. It’s more than just a habit—it’s often a deeply ingrained survival strategy, shaped by early experiences and reinforced over time. Because of this, it can feel almost hard-wired into your nervous system, which is why it’s so resistant to change through willpower alone.
If you frequently find yourself prioritizing other people’s comfort over your own, saying yes when you genuinely want to say no, or shrinking your needs to avoid conflict, you’re not just being “too nice”—you’re likely caught in a long-standing pattern that once kept you safe, but now keeps you stuck.
Therapy offers a space to explore where that pattern began, why it persists, and—most importantly—how to begin choosing yourself without guilt or fear.
People-pleasing isn’t just about being nice or agreeable. It’s often a survival strategy shaped by early life experiences, where maintaining harmony and avoiding conflict became essential to feeling safe, loved, or accepted. What may have once protected you has now become an exhausting, self-erasing habit.
At Holistic Psychotherapy, EMDR, and Wellness NY, I specialize in helping clients untangle these patterns—so you can stop living for others and start living for yourself.