We talk a lot about Melani and her “We Do Not Care Anymore” Movement—and yes, we love her! She truly gets it. But this doesn’t necessarily have to mean “letting yourself go.” Sometimes, it’s simply about expressing yourself authentically and reserving your energy for what truly matters to you—by choice, not by default.

For decades, the struggles of perimenopause and menopause—insomnia, hot flashes, brain fog, and mood swings—were often endured quietly, with women suffering in isolation. Today, thanks to Melani Sanders, founder of the We Do Not Care Club (WDNC) on social media, millions of women have a vibrant space to voice their experiences, share relatable challenges, and celebrate the humor and honesty of midlife transitions.

If you spend any time on Instagram, and your algorithm allows, you’ve met Melani. Melani has created a movement that resonates deeply with women navigating midlife, capturing the humor, courage, and liberation that come with embracing authenticity. Known for her distinctive style—often spotted with multiple pairs of readers dangling from her body—she embodies playfulness alongside wisdom, reminding women that self-expression and confidence can coexist at any stage of life. Her work celebrates emotional honesty, boundary-setting, and self-alignment, offering a voice that many women feel mirrors their own inner experience. Beyond trendiness, Melani provides a supportive, validating framework for women to reclaim energy, make intentional choices, and approach life with clarity and confidence.

One day, you’re managing it all, the next, you're overwhelmed, edgy, crumpled in a heap, and fighting back tears—and sweating, don’t forget the sweating. It’s the kind of sweat that comes out of nowhere, drenching you in the middle of a meeting or while trying to sleep, leaving you feeling even more out of control, confused, and defeated. You have thoughts of exiting your life, even your relationships. It can feel that dramatic for mid-life perimenopausal women. Perimenopause can feel like a mysterious, overwhelming storm that suddenly disrupts your life, often without warning. For many women, it’s a time of confusion, frustration, and isolation, as they experience a range of physical and emotional symptoms that seem to come out of nowhere. Hot flashes, mood swings, anxiety, irritability, and disrupted sleep may appear with no clear explanation, leaving women wondering what’s happening to their bodies. For some, the transition can be so gradual that they don’t even recognize it as perimenopause at first. Instead, they may chalk it up to stress, aging, or even a personal failing, unaware that hormonal changes are quietly reshaping their lives. The reality is, perimenopause affects every woman differently, and many are left to navigate this journey without the clarity or support they need. But the good news is, you don’t have to endure it in silence or confusion. There are answers, and there are ways to regain control and find relief.

The suffering is real; few escape with only minor symptoms, often beginning in their late 30s and lasting a decade or more. Research indicates that up to 60-70% of women experience some form of emotional or psychological distress during perimenopause, including symptoms like anxiety, depression, mood swings, irritability, and sleep disturbances. As a licensed psychotherapist from New York City working almost exclusively with mid-life women, I see the suffering regularly. Therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists often serve as the first point of care, providing more immediate and personalized support than doctors, who regularly dismiss emotional symptoms as part of the aging process. While doctors typically focus on physical symptoms and may prescribe medications such as antidepressants and anxiolytics, therapists specialize in exploring the mental and emotional aspects of perimenopause.