Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Consider Couples Therapy Now Before Minor Concerns Become Bigger Issues Or Even A Crisis.
When you are experiencing distance, tension, or difficulty in your relationships, you may experience feelings of abandonment, rejection, a lack of empathy, anger, disappointment, hopelessness, shame, and other emotions. Most New York couples enter relationship counseling in some state of despair. Often, they have struggled for years, and in a last-ditch attempt to save the relationship, they begin couples therapy. At this point, communication has eroded, distance is the norm, and sex is nearly nonexistent. Reasonably high-functioning couples often begin therapy to navigate difficult circumstances, seeking guidance from a relationship therapist or coach. Couples counseling is typically sought by two people who are in a romantic relationship and are experiencing challenges they want to address together. These individuals are committed to improving their relationship, whether that’s through resolving conflict, improving communication, rebuilding trust, or working through other issues that may be impacting their bond.
As an experienced couple and relationship therapist with a private practice in New York, I have witnessed many challenges among successful, busy New York and NYC couples. Still, often, problems are rooted in the same recurring issues. In our counseling sessions, we focus on creating a safe environment for sharing thoughts, feelings, and emotions. We work on active listening skills, identify important patterns in your relationship, express individual needs, build empathy, set goals, and develop effective conflict resolution skills. Sessions are virtual. 60, 90, or 120 minutes, and we can meet online wherever in the world you happen to be.
Considering an Open Relationship? What NYC Couples Need to Know Before Exploring Non-Monogamy
You’ve just learned the couple next door are swingers. You’re intrigued—curious even. Maybe you’ve had conversations with your partner about what it might be like to open your relationship. Maybe you’re quietly wondering: Could this work for us?
In my New York City couples therapy practice, I regularly work with individuals and couples exploring alternative relationship styles—including ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and swinging. These conversations are becoming more common as couples seek to redefine what intimacy, commitment, and love look like—on their own terms.
Before diving into an open relationship, it’s essential to understand what non-monogamy entails and whether it’s right for your unique relationship dynamic.
What Is an Alternative Relationship?
Alternative relationships refer to romantic and sexual partnerships that fall outside traditional monogamy. These include:
Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM): A broad term for any relationship structure involving multiple partners with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Swinging: Typically involves couples engaging in recreational or social sex with other individuals or couples, often in group settings.
Polyamory: Involves forming multiple emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationships, where love is shared and nurtured with more than one partner.
Open Relationships: A primary couple allows for sexual experiences outside the relationship, often with boundaries in place.
Relationship Anarchy: Emphasizes freedom from traditional relationship labels, hierarchy, and rules. Every relationship is self-defined.
At Holistic Therapy & Wellness NY, I help couples navigate open relationship dynamics, clarify boundaries, and strengthen communication—whether they’re just curious or already exploring non-monogamy.
The Unique Challenges Of High-Functioning Couples In Couple Counseling
Marriage and couple therapy enjoys a high success rate for couples who want to improve their relationships, and New York City has some of the most intelligent, talented and high-performing people in the world. They also bring to relationship counseling unique challenges and struggles. Successful individuals tend to be independent, highly-focused and self-sufficient. These individuals are accustomed to handling their problems on their own and require a high degree of autonomy. They are also not immune to struggling with anxiety, depression and relationship problems. Sometimes their lives look ideal from the outside, and yet they struggle greatly. You may be tempted to idealize the successful couples that you know, imagining that they have it all figured out. I can tell you that as an experienced New York City couple therapist, the high-functioning couples that I encounter have their own unique challenges that bring them to couple counseling. Mostly, these couples grapple with navigating conflicts, balancing individual with couple needs, communication issues and maintaining intimacy. Of course there are other challenges that successful high-functioning couples face, so let’s have a closer look.
On Well-Being
Human well-being and the ability to flourish is only possible when we feel safe and secure in the world. When this basic need to feel safe is not met, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we default to and inhabit a “fight or flight” stress response. In flight-fight, anything not essential for immediate survival is turned off—this includes the immune system, the digestive system, the human growth and reproductive systems. When these systems are turned off for too long, or are turned on and off too frequently, they break down, leading to the illnesses of modernity: diabetes, heart disease, infertility, obesity, anxiety, depression, autoimmune diseases, sleep disorders, and on.
This activated stress response can lead to detrimental changes in the structure of the brain and negatively impact emotional regulation, attention, concentration, and memory. Psychologically, when in the stress response, we pre-consciously sense our very survival is at stake, and in this activated state, the natural state of being open, relaxed, and receptive is not available to us. Instead, we are vigilant and tense, psychologically defensive and contracted. In