Well+Being Holistic Mental Health
Emotional Health & Wellness Tips From The Therapy Couch And Other Places
Relationship Repair After Infidelity & Intimate Betrayal
Betrayal trauma in an intimate relationship is unlike any other form of betrayal. It shatters your heart and changes your relationship forever. If you have a history of relational trauma or betrayal, it can feel even more impactful. When a partner cheats, it doesn’t have to ruin a marriage, though it can certainly be a turning point. How a couple navigates through it depends on many factors, such as the nature of the betrayal, the level of trust, the history of the relationship, and, most importantly, the willingness of both partners to heal and rebuild. Now the real work begins after an intimate betrayal disrupts a relationship. Couple therapy will not succeed in healing the trauma if both partners are not fully committed.
Some couples can work through betrayal by having open, honest conversations, seeking counseling, and rebuilding trust over time. It can be a long and painful process, but it’s not impossible. Others, however, might find the betrayal too much to overcome, or they are unwilling to remain in the relationship. A skilled and experienced relationship counselor can help you identify the root causes of the affair and uncover deeper issues within the relationship and the partner who strayed.
Can my marriage ever be whole again? Will we ever move beyond this? Can I forgive? Can I ever trust my spouse again? Can we truly experience full healing after betrayal trauma? Can I hold hope that are relationship can be even more fulfilling?
These questions are heavy on the soul. When someone you love betrays you, it can have profound emotional, psychological, and even physical effects.
Considering an Open Relationship? What NYC Couples Need to Know Before Exploring Non-Monogamy
You’ve just learned the couple next door are swingers. You’re intrigued—curious even. Maybe you’ve had conversations with your partner about what it might be like to open your relationship. Maybe you’re quietly wondering: Could this work for us?
In my New York City couples therapy practice, I regularly work with individuals and couples exploring alternative relationship styles—including ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, and swinging. These conversations are becoming more common as couples seek to redefine what intimacy, commitment, and love look like—on their own terms.
Before diving into an open relationship, it’s essential to understand what non-monogamy entails and whether it’s right for your unique relationship dynamic.
What Is an Alternative Relationship?
Alternative relationships refer to romantic and sexual partnerships that fall outside traditional monogamy. These include:
Consensual Non-Monogamy (CNM): A broad term for any relationship structure involving multiple partners with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Swinging: Typically involves couples engaging in recreational or social sex with other individuals or couples, often in group settings.
Polyamory: Involves forming multiple emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationships, where love is shared and nurtured with more than one partner.
Open Relationships: A primary couple allows for sexual experiences outside the relationship, often with boundaries in place.
Relationship Anarchy: Emphasizes freedom from traditional relationship labels, hierarchy, and rules. Every relationship is self-defined.
At Holistic Therapy & Wellness NY, I help couples navigate open relationship dynamics, clarify boundaries, and strengthen communication—whether they’re just curious or already exploring non-monogamy.
About Holistic Psychotherapy
Holistic Psychotherapy is beneficial for people of all ages, and it’s never too late to begin developing healthier lifestyle habits. No matter your age, mental health issues can interfere with your wellbeing throughout your lifespan. Individuals and couples enter therapy with a unique set of challenges and goals. As a holistic psychotherapist with a private practice in NYC, I specialize in helping older adolescents, adults and couples who experience struggle in their day to day lives. My focus is to help you uncover the root cause of your struggle in psychotherapy, as holistic psychotherapists believe that this is the best path forward to support your mental health recovery. Let me explain the many ways therapy can help make your life better.
Psychotherapy offers the opportunity for an individual to better understand and change patterns of behavior, feelings, and relationships that are getting in the way of your functioning. Psychotherapy offers the opportunity for an individual to understand and change patterns of behavior, feelings, and relationships that are getting in the way of higher-functioning. Good therapy can enable you to have richer, fuller and more meaningful life experiences.
What Does Holistic Psychotherapy Do?
Coping With Relationship Heartbreak
Breakups are painful. The reasons for the relationship split seem to matter less than the fact that your world has changed and all kinds of uncomfortable feelings and emotions are being triggered. You can learn from this experience and come through it wiser and stronger, and hopefully, with a heart open enough to receive love and hope for the future. As a NYC psychotherapist in private practice, struggling after a break up is a common reason people seek counseling and therapy.
Even though the relationship no longer works, why do breakups hurt so much? When marriages or relationships end, it is not just about grieving the loss of the connection, but the end of shared hopes and dreams. Hope is an important aspect of early romantic relationships. Couples mourn the hope for the future as well as the commitment of shared goals and dreams.
Other important losses include one's identity, physical and sexual intimacy, shared hobbies and interests, relationships with friends and extended family, a physical move or the sale of a home, financial stability, individual and shared responsibilities, and if children are involved, a significant disruption in their lives.
Starting over can be scary. It is normal to wonder if you will ever find love or another partner again as well as other future uncertainties. Many feel that staying with what they know, even if it's an unhappy partnership, is better than being alone. It's important to remind yourself, that it is possible to move on to find happiness either alone or with someone else. Healing takes time and recovery requires patience and treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Successful Couples Do (And Don’t Do) These Things
What Makes a Relationship Last? Essential Habits of Emotionally Connected Couples
Couples who build emotionally satisfying and long-lasting partnerships often follow a quiet formula—a combination of relational insight, intentional behavior, and consistent effort. These are the couples who don't just survive the ups and downs of life together but thrive in a mutually supportive, emotionally rich dynamic.
At Holistic Psychotherapy & Wellness NY, I frequently work with individuals and couples who long for deeper connection and harmony in their relationships. The good news is that relationship mastery is not an innate gift—it’s a set of skills that can be developed. According to world-renowned researchers Drs. John and Julie Gottman, couples who succeed share key emotional habits and mindsets. They are what the Gottmans call the “masters” of relationships.
Here are key insights on what emotionally intelligent couples avoid—and what they intentionally practice—to create lasting love and connection.
What to Stop Doing in Your Relationship
If you're experiencing repeated conflict, emotional disconnection, or cycles of resentment, it may be time to examine the following unhelpful behaviors:
Stop keeping score
Keeping emotional tallies of who did what leads to resentment and emotional distance. A healthy relationship is not a transaction—it's a partnership based on mutual respect and shared effort. If you feel the load is uneven, bring it up with compassion and clarity using "I" statements instead of blame.
Avoid power struggles and emotional bullying
The need to be right or to win an argument can drain the vitality from your relationship. Consider whether it's worth the emotional toll. If you're pushing your partner to agree with you, or if your tone causes shutdown, try using more effective communication tools. Being right is not the same as being close.
Stop trying to change your partner
Attempts to control, fix, or "improve" your partner often lead to defensiveness and frustration. Instead, work on accepting your partner as they are—or change how you respond to the behaviors that trigger you. If your partner’s actions are harmful or destructive, seek help from a licensed couples therapist to explore boundary-setting and safety.
Don’t judge or dismiss your partner’s emotions
Feelings are not facts, but they are meaningful. When your partner shares emotional content, meet it with curiosity, not correction. You don't have to agree, but validating your partner's experience can open the door to deeper understanding and emotional intimacy.